MORE UPS AND DOWNS THAN A TRAMPOLINE.

http://bbybear.tumblr.com/


SEE YOU THERE?

and apparently fall isnt either thus far.

all at once, a couple different things
but im getting it back.
ill get it back.

LEAVE ME ALONE.
QUIT BEING MEAN. QUIT TALKING TO ME. QUIT THINKING THAT YOU KNOW ME BECUASE YOU DONT KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING IVE BEEN THROUGH OR ANYTHING IM GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW SO YOU DONT HAVE ROOM TO SAY JACK FUCKING SHIT TO ME.



i wish everyone would just leave me aloneeeeee
i need to stop existing for a while.


if i can go to state tomorrow ill just die.

like. i just dont know.
i am so just out of it. i just dont care anymore

IVE ALWAYS HAD TO DO IT, I REALLY DONT MIND.
DISTANCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER, RIGHT?
WRONG. WELL. WRONG WHEN YOU ARE COMPLETELY IGNORED.
THIS FEELING IS GREAT.
ABOUT AS GREAT AS I AM FAT.


GREAT. GREAT. GREAT.
I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.

what he is to me.

i give the fuck up.

and it lasted all weekend and it was so good and i love it and i wish i could re do it, even if it does mean dancing barefoot in glass and snapping my phone in half.
love life.
i wish everything else could follow suit :(

its pathetic almost. i dont know, things just keep going to the extreme ends of good and bad so fast, sometimes even in the same day.
blah blah blah i dont know
i feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulders and i feel better.
well see what it happens.


one of my favorite quotes just popped in my head today to sum up this whole situation:
“we are not special. we are not crap or trash, either. we just are. we just are, and what happens just happens.”


AND HERES A FEW OTHER THINGS I REALLY LIKE:

"DONT DO IT AGAIN."
"DO WHAT?​"​
"​ATTAC​H YOURS​ELF TO ANYON​E WHO SHOWS​ YOU THE LEAST​ BIT OF ATTEN​TION,​ BECAU​SE YOURE​ LONEL​Y.​ LONEL​INESS​ IS THE HUMAN​ CONDI​TION.​ NO ONE IS EVER GOING​ TO FILL THAT SPACE​.​ THE BEST YOU CAN DO IS KNOW YOURS​ELF.​ KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.​

dont ever cry over someone who wont cry over you. (haha i love the hills)

blah blah blah, and it goes.

that is this and this is that and right is wrong and the truth is a big lie that i couldnt distingsuish or maybe it is a lie and isnt the truth at all, i dont know everythings topsy turvy.



i feel like ive waited for so long, and now for nothing.
well. its not nothing, acutally. its someone i really like and care for and now theyre leaving me.
like how long can i waittttttttttttttt
life is not fair, not one big.

and used.
and stupid.
and mad.
and upset.
and dumb.
and confused.
and everything else you can feel.


i dont know what im doing to get treated like this everytime i meet a boy.
and people wnoder why im a bitch? get some insight and leave me alonnnne

"i dont want you to wait around for me"


so i wont i guess.



BACK TO THE SAME OLD GAME/FEELINGS/WHATEVER
BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.

same old down feeling.
i have a feeling im going to feel like this forever.

I WORRY ALL THE TIME.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

never lets me down,




love my rachey baby.

that im doing cocaine.



i dont even have anything say to that because i cant help but crack up. this woman is seriously out of her fucking mind and i cant wait for the first chance i have to get out of here.
dumb bitch.

how fast my moods can change.
it may only be from day to day but sometimes i can go from really nervous and upset to happy happy happy.
like now, so happy. so good. its the little things and blah blah blah i dont care, my eyes hurt from the bonfire smoke and im going to bed.

really gotta just keep rolling with the punches just go with it.

dont treat me like shit, now you know how it feels sucker.
pull your head out of your own ass for 10 seconds and get the fuck with it.



mirrors was fucking fucked up. good movie. so fucked up.
i worked 8 1/2 hours today. i work 5 more tomorrow totally 18.5 in three days, ayooooooo gotta rake in that cash.

but im glad to be home.
it really gave me some insight on what to expect if i were to go to school in the city or something
i dont know
i enjoyed the whole atmosphere and all the people, but i cant say i dont mind being back home and DRIVING everywhere instead of walking, even if that means i dont have chinese right across the street.